An Uninhibited Question & Answer

What can your friends count on you for? 

I just returned from a sweet weekend of dance, delicious meals, dramatic weather and deep connection with some of my favorite people on the planet.  I would do pretty much anything for any one of these six friends of mine in the photo above.  

I would dance in the pouring down rain with them. 

I would buy them a meal, a bottle of wine, a plane ticket  and especially something special that they would want, but might not buy for themselves.

I would hold their gaze and not look away when they needed someone to see them. 

I would hold their hands in mine, hug them  hard and not let go until they do. 

I would tell them the truth even if it's hard to hear. 

I would be there for them when they asked, when they least expected it and when they needed someone or something, but didn't know who or how to ask.   

My friends can count on me to be fiercely loyal, relentlessly upbeat, ridiculously silly and real.

What is it that you give to your friends without a second thought?  What are the qualities of being others can rely on you for?  And if you had you  as a friend, could you count on you? 

You can count on being asked questions during this retreat that  will make your mind think, your heart feel and your spirit relax. When you take time out to delve into how you live your life and what's most important, thinking, feeling, relaxing  (and dancing!) is bound to happen.

Seven more weeks until the next retreat begins. Four more weeks to decide if you'll be a part of it. Registration closes October 1.  

An Uninhibited Question & Answer

    

 

 

What's something in your life

that turned out better because it failed?

Failure is a loaded word.  For so many people, it implies that what failed is the person, not the project or the process of other particulars that were out of your control.  Banks fail. Crops fail. Efforts, behaviors and outcomes fail. People do not.  

I don't believe in failure. I believe in living life courageously, making mistakes and learning to do things differently. I think shit happens, plans change and new directions are taken.

This is how it played out when I owned a dance studio along the north Oregon coast for a year.   For nine months, my friend, Elia and I did everything we could think of for the studio to be a success. And when I say success I mean that enough money was made to keep the doors open so we could continue offering ecstatic dance classes to our community.  Our efforts failed and the studio closed after the year's lease ended, but we didn't consider ourselves failures.  We were disappointed that the vision we had for this space ended up being different than its reality, but to have made this dream of ours come true in 2008  even if it was for a short time (opening a new business that year might have been one of those particulars), made us happy and gave us many opportunities to learn about ourselves and what we really wanted to be doing.  

The truth was...neither of us wanted to own or run a dance studio. We wanted to facilitate classes and we wanted to dance. It was my truth then. It remains true now.

Had the studio not failed, perhaps I'd still be living in Oregon and not Hawaii.  Had the studio not failed, perhaps I wouldn't have created Beach Dance. Had the studio not failed, perhaps I wouldn't be leading retreats.  

I shudder to think of all these things that are in my life now that perhaps wouldn't be if the studio had been successful. And when I say shudder, it's not just the thought of being in the cold, gray Pacific Northwest weather that makes my body shake - it's this thought: What would my life be like now if I  had thought I  was the failure?

We are not failures. We are successes who make mistakes and who become better if we want to.

Becoming better is becoming more of who we really are and being who we really are is what living courageously is all about.  A bit of courage is needed during Uninhibited...so shit can happen, plans change and new directions are taken.   

Calling all scarecrows, tin men and lions for the next courageous adventure that begins exactly eight weeks from today.     

 

The Latest Goodness

The next retreat is now less than three months away...  

October 22-26, 2015.

It's a quaint affair when it comes to number of participants - just twelve people and three spots have already been claimed.  Speaking of three...here are the latest words of loveliness from some of the last retreat's participants: 

    "I love Lila. I love her music. I love her attitude. I love her ability to hold a container. Her house is gorgeous. Swimming with the sounds of whales and taking five days to write and dance and sink into my needs and desires, that's why I said yes (to attending). I felt seen. Really seen while I was expressing some tenderness. I felt held and taken care of completely which allowed me to deeply rest and reset."     - Christi from Kapaa, Hawaii   

 

"I love Lila. I love her music. I love her attitude. I love her ability to hold a container. Her house is gorgeous. Swimming with the sounds of whales and taking five days to write and dance and sink into my needs and desires, that's why I said yes (to attending). I felt seen. Really seen while I was expressing some tenderness. I felt held and taken care of completely which allowed me to deeply rest and reset."  

- Christi from Kapaa, Hawaii

 

    "Lila's Uninhibited Retreat is like nothing you have ever experienced.  Her loving welcoming character puts you at ease as soon as you walk through the door.  The food is fantastic. The beach we danced on and the ocean we danced in was a piece of heaven you usually only see in travel magazines. I had bonding experiences with each and every wonderful woman that was there.   If there is any way you can get yourself to this retreat...you will be forever proud that you did."     -  Connie from Ventura, California     

 

"Lila's Uninhibited Retreat is like nothing you have ever experienced.  Her loving welcoming character puts you at ease as soon as you walk through the door.  The food is fantastic. The beach we danced on and the ocean we danced in was a piece of heaven you usually only see in travel magazines. I had bonding experiences with each and every wonderful woman that was there.   If there is any way you can get yourself to this retreat...you will be forever proud that you did."

-Connie from Ventura, California 

 

    "I loved it and loved all the ladies. (The experience) gives me something to  think about every time I speak.Lila knows how to reach people.  The most valuable thing for me was  having a group of people trusting enough to open up their  most personal  selves and learning how to give others a chance to listen to me."     -Trish from Alberta,Canada 

 

"I loved it and loved all the ladies. (The experience) gives me something to  think about every time I speak.Lila knows how to reach people.  The most valuable thing for me was  having a group of people trusting enough to open up their  most personal  selves and learning how to give others a chance to listen to me."  

-Trish from Alberta,Canada 

If something is beckoning you to go on retreat this fall, this might be the one for you! 

Explore your dance.

Speak your truths.

Be uninhibitedly you. 




The Countdown Begins!

Tomorrow, July 1, is when registration opens for the next Uninhibited Retreat which is happening October 22-26.

While the event is still three and a half months away, you know how quickly time flies and October will be here sooner than you think. Starting to look for reasonably-priced airline tickets now is much better than three months down the calendar road when registration  closes October 1.

 Perhaps what you don't know (and need) in order to make a decision whether this retreat would be the ideal experience for you  is to get a sneak peak of what I'm going to call...

~The 13 Delicious Details of the Uninhibited Retreats ~ 

 

This is not a huge conference with name tags.  It's cozy and intimate and you'll know everyone's name before you even arrive. There are just 13 people. Sometimes less, but definitely no more than that.

Each day of the retreat is a full one. From 8am to 8pm, we go all out for 12 hours. And just in case  that gave you pause, we take breaks during the day. Naps are highly encouraged.

You will laugh at least 11 times during the retreat (it will probably be more) and there's a good chance you might cry this many times as well. Aching bellies and snotty noses go well together.

You will hear (and dance to) a minimum of 10 songs you've never heard before. And you'll get all the playlists of the music we dance and listen to during the retreat! 

You will be delighted by the 9 or so items in your island goody bag. 

It will take only 8 minutes for you to fall asleep each night. (See Juicy Detail #12)

You will learn and/or be surprised by at least  7 things about yourself. This is a promise and a fact.

Your accommodations are not included in the retreat fee, however I have room in my house for up to 6 people and can offer you significantly reduced rates compared to other places you'll find nearby.  Early registration helps secure those more affordable rates at chez moi. 

Considering you need to arrive on island at least the day before the retreat begins (Wednesday) and you need to stay until it ends (Monday at noon)...attending Uninhibited requires a minimum 5 night stay on the island of Maui. No arm-twisting required, right?   

You will learn at least 4 Hawaiian words. Aloha is lovely, but you already knew that one so it doesn't count.

We eat 3 scrumptious (primarily vegetarian) meals a day and chocolate for dessert is a given.

You can pay the $799  retreat fee in 2 payments. $300 when you register. $499 on October 1.  

You can trust this 1 retreat to offer you an experience you'll never forget. 

I invite you to join me in October for the next Uninhibited Retreat.   

Bring on the deliciousness!

 

 

Mo betta!

The third Uninhibited Retreat was just as good as the first and the second and...it was "mo betta."

"Mo betta" is an expression used in the Pidgin-English Hawaiian language that means "better than better, the best."  

While each of the Uninhibited retreats have been special in and of themselves, the content and the depth of this experience just keeps getting better and better every time. This has been my hope all along. When I created this particular event more than a year and a half ago,  I knew it was something I was committing to over the long-term. I wanted to make this event a consistent offering and I wanted  it to offer the kind of experience people never forget.  I didn't want it to be big numbers-wise. I wanted it to be big feeling-wise.  

And oh, how we want to feel the full and extraordinary meaning and mystery of our lives! 

It is evident  to me as both the facilitator and as one of the participants, we need experiences that encourage us to feel all of what we feel without having to worry about what others think or weaken whatever emotion within us that wants outward expression.  In this technological world, we crave time to slow down, to relish real face-to-face conversations, to savor skin-on-skin contact and to feel  our own and each other's most raw and beautiful presence.   

I want more of this in my own life.  I want more of these heart-full and spirit-filled connections with others.  I want more love, compassion and truth in the world.  And so...until the next Uninhibited Retreat, I will continue to open my heart, deepen my connection with spirit and feel all  that is my life.  I encourage you to do the same. 

The next Uninhibited Retreat is October 22-26 and registration opens July 1.   

The A-Z Alphabets of Inhibited/Uninhibited

Read this A-Z list and then check in with how you feel. 

Abstain

Block

Constrain

Disallow

Exclude

Forbid 

Galumph

Hinder

Inhibit

Kibosh 

Junked 

Limit

Muzzle

Nix

Obstruct

Prohibit  

Quash

Repress 

Stifle

Thwart

Unacknowledged

Veto

Withhold  

X-tinguish 

Zapped 

 

How about this one?

Allow

Boundless

Connected

Delight

Expansive

Free

Go-ahead

Heartsome 

Infinite

Just

Kick-ass

Liberated

Moving

Nexus

Open

Proclaim

Quagswag

Real

Spacious

Thrilling

Unrestrained

Vast

Welcomed

X-hilarating

Yummy

Zippadeedoodah

 

What kind of alphabet would you like to create and live  this year? 

There are just a few days left to say YES to attending the next Uninhibited Retreat that's happening here on Maui March 19-23. 

If not next month, perhaps October? Registration for the second retreat of 2015 opens up July 1.

 

How are you...really?

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Being inhibited serves no one...most of all, you.  

As an example, think about how many times someone has asked you, "How are you?"  Consider how often your response was "Fine" when 'fine' was the last thing you truly felt in that moment the question was asked.  

Maybe what you were really feeling was sad or pissed off.  Maybe you were feeling lonely or indifferent and didn't want to answer that damn question.  Maybe you were so happy or incredibly horny you didn't believe you could answer that truthfully.  

Saying how you really feel might make others feel uncomfortable, but that's not your issue to take on. The issue worthy of taking on is being honest with yourself and expressing what's present and real within you.

How do we do that?

How do we say how we feel or tell others what we think and not take the easy (sometimes the less painful) way out by offering up something that we know is less than the truth?   

My response a couple years ago would have been...carefully-which would be to edit as soon as I encountered resistance. My response  nowadays  is... mindfully with care - which is to pay attention to what's present within me first and then  speak from that place of knowing what's true for me and keep going. 

And how do we respond mindfully with care to any question or anything that comes our way in life that might inhibit us from being real with others? 

Listen first.   To our bodies, our inner voices, our own unique experience . Speak second. With words, gestures, tones and pauses that bring forth what's most true within us in the moment we're expressing it.   

Expressing how you really feel and telling people what you really think doesn't always make friends and doesn't always make sense, but in all ways, telling what's true for you will set you free. 

The next time someone asks you "How are you?" Give them more than just "Fine."  Give them your truth. 

HERE'S A TRUTH OF MINE...

I'm excited about next month's retreat.  There are currently five women who will be a part of this experience and I'd love to see 2-3 more people join us. There are 10 days left before the "doors close"  and the chance to dance in this retreat is complete.  March 1 is the final day to register.    

 

The Uninhibited Manifesto

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I really wanted to call this an ultimatum instead of a manifesto, but when I looked up the definition, I didn't like one of the ways in which that word was defined.

Ultimatum...a final, uncompromising demand or set of terms issued by a party to a dispute, the rejection of which may lead to a severance of relations or to the use of force. 

That sounded rather...severe.

So I went with my original desire which was the right thing to begin with.  I have more to say about original, burning desires, but I'll save that for another soon-to-be-written post.

Manifesto... a public declaration of intentions, opinions, objectives, or motives, as one issued by a government, sovereign, or organization. 

That not only sounds better, it feels better.

And that's the whole point of being uninhibited... 

 Feeling Better!  

Feeling, as in experiencing and embodying whatever it is you truly desire in life  and better, as in living what is most true for you. So one definition of uninhibited might be...

Uninhibited - a way of being or embodiment that expresses the truest experience of oneself and one's desires.

It is my intention to live my life in this manner. It is my wish to inspire all who may read this. It is my offering and invitation to come to Maui and take part in an experience of movement and embodiment that will shake your limbs, stir your senses  and serve you in a myriad of ways.    

~The Uninhibited Manifesto~

I am free. I am free to live my life as I choose.To flourish and falter and...not fail. I learn. I am free to trust my gut. To make my decisions and have my doubts and...not dismiss that still voice within. I listen. I am free to speak my truth. To say what wants to be spoken and state what's obvious to me and...not silence myself so as to not offend others. I communicate. I am free to follow my dreams. To discover if they're wild and worthy or weak and wavering and...not wonder if my imagination is too big. I desire. I am free to express my emotions. To crack up with laughter at inappropriate times or curl up into a ball and spill tears onto the floor and...not cover up ever. I feel. I am free to move my body how it wants to. To experience both pleasure and pain and...not prevent aging or postpone my own death. I transform. I am free to reject the status quo. To stand up for what's right and shift others' perspectives and...not stay the course. I act. I am free to ask for what I need. To make bold requests and brave offers and...not boast. I inspire. I am free to change my mind. To ponder at great lengths and profess unpopular opinions and...not procrastinate. I grow. I am free to be me. To bring forth, fall apart, let go, begin again, fuck up, turn around, sign off, love hard and move on and...not give up, hide out or hold back anything. I live. 

 

Unravel. Unveil. Unfurl.

Unravel - to separate or disentangle the threads of, to free from complication or difficulty, make plain or clear, solve, to take apart, undo, destroy.

Unveil - to remove a veil or other covering, to reveal or disclose, to become revealed.

Unfurl - to spread or shake out from a furled (securely bound) state. 

 

How might I unravel the threads of  long-held beliefs which have kept me feeling unworthy ? 

To be free of the complications I choose to suffer from and take apart insignificant old stories...

Oh ,to remove the veil of social graces  and reveal how I truly feel !

To shake out and shake off the shackles I've worn and to unfurl into a better state of being.

 

Ladies and gentlemen, I invite you to be a part of an extraordinary experience where unraveling, unveiling and unfurling is not only a giant (as in really big and beautiful) undertaking,but a grand adventure of the human body and spirit. The details are here and registration begins here.

registration is now open for the next Uninhibited Retreat ~ March 19-23, 2015. 


Frolicking Popsicles

Yesterday a friend of mine asked me how the retreat this past weekend went. I waited until the right words found their way from my heart into my mouth. 

"Fucking phenomenal," was my response.

And now as I sit here staring at a blinking cursor, I wonder where oh where to begin. How might I describe to a potential future participant what fucking phenomenal means and what Uninhibited Retreats are really all about?  

Every retreat is different because there are different players. Who shows up and how they show up will definitely influence what happens during the retreat. Yes, I have a format, a series of activities, a schedule of sorts that can be played out, but creating it together as we experience ourselves and each other is where the real magic happens. And my God, the magic that appeared and the amazing tricks that were performed with five women was off the charts!

Halloween is just around the corner so perhaps that's why I use the word tricks above, but let me be clear about what I mean when I say tricks.  We didn't turn cartwheels (although we could have). We turned our hearts inside out and shared some of our secrets. We didn't make rabbits appear out of hats. We made ourselves appear to each other as the perfect and flawed human beings we are.  We didn't perform to impress others with our wisdom and wit.  We played full out to express what needed to be moved and said.

We danced and laughed. We wrote and cried. We spoke our stories through and then soaked them in the pool.  We ate delicious meals and we dressed in our finest gear. We drew pictures, lit candles, sat in the sun by a waterfall and uttered our silent prayers.  This and so much more were the delightful, frightful and insightful treats that we, together, unfettered and unfurled.         

Amy, Margo, Raven and Lyssa. Thank you. I have, once again, transformed into more of who I really am.

What are Uninhibited Retreats really all about?

LOVE!!!!

The next Uninhibited Retreat is March 19-23, 2015 and the registration doors will fling open on December 1.